I'll sell my soul for a handshake...

So, I tried to sell my soul. It didn't work. I said, Hey, devil. All you have to do to get my soul is come up here and shake my hand. I'll swear away Jesus' salvation if only you'll just come up here and dance a fiery dance with me. We'll do the tortured soul tango into eternity. If you don't come up here and show yourself I'll take Jesus in my heart right before I die, but if you come up here then I'll say the blasphemy challenge right now. Come on Beelzebub, my dinner is cold and I could use some heat. Let's make a deal. The price is right. That's my final answer. Ah, screw you Satan. You're as lame as that god fellow. If you are real then you are a sad pitiful excuse for a demon.