Sunday, August 31, 2008

Damn you creationists, get out of my science!

I'm in Washington on a business trip. I'm away from my beloved dvr with all my shows pre-recorded on it, and a fast forward button to skip all the commercials. On top of that, I don't even know what all the channels are without looking at a little card with a bunch of network symbols on it. Now I remember why I stopped watching tv before the advent of dvrs, and how great dvrs are. Okay, enough of the dvr plug.

I got all excited because I found a science show. There was an official looking guy talking about global warming. I wasn't paying full attention because I was eating my continental breakfast. The guy was saying blah, blah, blah, global warming, blah, blah, blah, people will die, blah, blah, blah, water level rising, etc. I finished my huge meal, and started actually watching the show with my full attention. Then I get my first sign something wasn't right. Why does this guy have an o-scope behind him, with the intensity turned all the way up and a few sin waves scrolling all over the place. No self respecting scientist or technician would do that to his oscope for any reason. It might be that way when you turn it on if your noob lab assistant was messing with it, but you would quickly adjust it to get something useful out of it. Wait, what did he just say? Genesis? Damn, this is a creationist show. What a bunch of bullshit? Man's dominion over the earth. Global warming is "only" 1.5 degrees. People will die because they don't have access to cheap energy.

Wow, how did this get on tv? Hmmm, what channel is this. Get out the card with all the station icons on there. TBN? Google, what is TBN? Trinity Broadcasting Newtwork. Ah, thanks Google, that explains a lot. I watched a little bit more to see if they had any good points. Closest thing that may actually be science had to do with cosmic rays. They claim that all the warming has to do with a change in the amount of UV rays that come from the sun. While the sun is definitely a variable that determines the earths temperature, it's niave to say that it's the only variable. The commercials in between the show, were for the show. Coral Ridge Ministries is the producer of the film. It looks like the show is on their website. I can't tell if you can watch the film, or if it's just a trailer, but I doubt anyone really wants to torture themselves.. It just says it's buffering for awhile and then fails. I think it's the hotel internet, not the site, but no way to tell from here.

So, to get to the point. Damn you creationists, get out of my science!

Monday, August 18, 2008

I'll sell my soul for a handshake...

So, I tried to sell my soul. It didn't work. I said, Hey, devil. All you have to do to get my soul is come up here and shake my hand. I'll swear away Jesus' salvation if only you'll just come up here and dance a fiery dance with me. We'll do the tortured soul tango into eternity. If you don't come up here and show yourself I'll take Jesus in my heart right before I die, but if you come up here then I'll say the blasphemy challenge right now. Come on Beelzebub, my dinner is cold and I could use some heat. Let's make a deal. The price is right. That's my final answer. Ah, screw you Satan. You're as lame as that god fellow. If you are real then you are a sad pitiful excuse for a demon.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Praise Jeebus

I just wanted to take the opportunity to thank the lord, hallelujah, for blessing me with good vision last Thursday. I've been wearing glasses for years now, cursed by the devil with near-sighted vision and astigmatism, but no more! Jeebus and the Ornery Ghost came down and manipulated photons into magical mysterious laser beams performing a miraculous feat called LASIK! It happened just a few weeks after I saw this sign up in front of a local church offering freemods! It may look like a typo, but a typo wouldn't have been left up for over a week would it? Heck no, it was an offer from the almighty for free modifications to your intelligently designed body. I only had to pay just over 2 grand! Gaymen!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Thank you for lunch!

This weekend I had to do my National Guard drill in Austin. I ate lunch at the Austin Diner today, and a nice family bought my lunch without me knowing it. They finished and left while I was eating. One of them said thank you for serving in the Army as they left, but I had no idea that they paid for my meal as well. When I asked for my check the server was a little confused because it was already closed out and paid for. After talking to the lady at the register she figured it out and happily let me know. So, to the family at the Austin diner, thanks for supporting our troops, and thanks for lunch! Your kids were really cute as well.

Another Mom quote...


"Jesus has a perfect [astrological] chart"

I find that a pretty interesting claim for two reasons. First, what is the "perfect chart", and second, when was Jesus born? I thought that nobody even knew the specific day, much less the time.


I was looking for a word to describe people that are without science, or don't believe in science, similar to the word atheist for religion. I couldn't find anything, so I thought I would make one up. I thought it should sound similar to atheist, maybe the same amount of syllables. The root is scient which shows up in the etymology of science (on webster) as 'having knowledge', and the "a" part would be as in greek or latin, 'without or not'. So the definition and word would look something like this.

ascient - A person that lacks scientific knowledge or doesn't believe in scientific facts because of a conflicting belief system.

I'm pronouncing it ay-sea-ent. When googled it comes up with about 3700 hits, most I'm guessing as misspellings of ancient. There does seem to be an IT company named ascient though. It may therefore be necessary to spell it differently, maybe asceint which only gets 16 google hits.

Please feel free to use my word if you like it. If you happen to know a word already in existence that would fit the definition, please educate me. Let me know of any ideas you have that may be similar. Maybe I'll use your word instead.

Friday, August 1, 2008


I snapped a pic of this warning sign awhile ago and forgot to post it. There are actually a few in the area. I'm not sure the exact meaning of this sign, whether warning about church pedestrians or letting you know traffic might be piling up or some other reason, but I doubt it was the meaning that I got out of it. It's a shame that you don't see more of these around, and that they probably don't warn people away.